Writings and Such

You can find my musings at:

 

 

 

 

Just Wear the Goddamn Swimsuit (July 9, 2018)

If Becoming a Teacher Were As Easy As Purchasing a Gun (March 23, 2018)

Hello, I’m the Internet, and You’re Parenting All Wrong (January 8, 2018)

Traditional Thanksgiving Sidepieces (November 21, 2017)

People My 5-Year-Old Wants to Play With on the Playground (May 22, 2017)

Animated Film Ratings: A Guide for Concerned Parents (March 22, 2017)

Exit Strategies from Social Situations (December 17, 2016)

Fetal Tenant/Landlord Agreement (June 9, 2016)

 

 

 

12 Angry Women (April 20, 2018)

Dear Eponine: Love Advice From the Barricade (February 13, 2018)

My Political Facebook Post is Now Open For Comments (October 24, 2017)

Please Enjoy Your Stay at the Madonna/Whore Complex (July 25, 2017)

 

 

 

(selected highlights)

8 Bullshit Lies About Maternity Leave

How to Accurately Calculate Your Baby’s Due Date

Please Don’t Invite My Kids to Your Wedding

Defending the Baby Shower

Lose the Baby Weight in 12 Easy Steps

 

 

 

 

8 Things My Very Tall Daughter Can Expect (3/18/15)

Et Tu, Kimmy Schmidt? The Unbreakable Attack on Teachers (4/27/15)

The Fault in Our Scars (8/3/15)

Confessions of a TV Binge-Reader (10/6/15)

 

Embracing the Pregnancy Inquisition

30 Ways I Talk Myself Out of a Third Child

I am So Over the Babymoon

How to Have Fun With Your Registry

 

 

 

 

What to Expect When You’re Expecting on a TV Show (August 14, 2018)

How to Not Suck at Surprise Parties (August 10, 2016)

Dear Personal Trainer (October 14, 2015)

 

 

 

 

 

 

(selected highlights)

Please Pick Me For Your Makeover Show

Dear Hilaria Baldwin, Your Postpartum Selfie Isn’t Helping

Incase You Were Wondering, I’ve Still Got It

Requiem for my Yoga Pants

The Day I Faked a Pregnancy

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I’m Staring at You While You Breastfeed

A Prayer for my Interfaith Kids at the Holidays

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From Guilt to Addiction: The 8 Stages of Getting a Pedicure

Rules for Surviving the Public Pool

10 Ways to Seamlessly Blend Hanukkah with Christmas for Your Interfaith Kids

8 Simple Rules for Playdating

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Baby Looks Like Orson Welles

 

 

 

Millenial Math Problems

 

 

 

 

 

 

If Sara’s Favorite Cartoon Characters Attended Her Fourth Birthday Party

Important Updates re: Bryson’s 5th Birthday Party

 

 

 

 

10 Tips for Surviving a NYC Street Fair With Kids

 

 

 

20 Ways Being a Teacher Will Warp You Forever

8 Ways to Transition Kids Back to School: By Ruining Summer

8 Issues Every Teacher-Parent Struggles With on a Daily Basis

10 Myths About What Teachers Do Over Summer Break

8 Ways Parent-Teacher Conferences Are Like a First Date

 

What The Flicka?

The Pleasantest Thing

Cribsters

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